About a year and half ago, I herniated the disc between L3 and L4. Since being injured, I’ve spent a good amount of time feeling fifteen: so misunderstood, experiencing love and grief in a single breath, listening to Taylor Swift, lying flat on the floor, looking up for a sign. …

After London Bridge is done discussing his truss issues, we move on to Jack and Jill. Siblings or dating? I can’t tell. — Ever since I — ahem — retired, my life is quieter than I’m used to. So, I’ve decided it’s time to go to the support group that my therapist has been going on and on about. (See, Farmer Dan? Growth!) …

I wonder whether Guy Fieri expects the two of us to repopulate the planet? — Day One There’s no going back. The moment those Zombies hurled themselves at the mustachioed, window-art faces of Cacio and Pepe, my life was forever changed. Guy Fieri and I locked eyes. And, just like that, we were rollin’ out. I have first watch. Guy’s asleep in the backseat, clutching…

We’ve all been there—the third stall in your office bathroom, watching your tears form ripples in the toilet-bowl water and thinking that it’d make for a really sad Boomerang. Janine from Accounting taps her acrylic nails on the stall door and asks, “You okay, honey?” And you respond, “I’m fine…

“H.A.G.S — Jeremy” Dear Jeremy, How dare you. We were in Spanish together, and you can’t think of anything else to write? Well, then all I have to say to you, Jeremy, is… H.A.M.V. Have a mal verano. “L.Y.L.A.S. You rock!!! Never change!!! xoxo, Ashley” Dear Ashley, You loved me…